Mean Streets Experiment

Mean Bus Drivers

What pleasure could one possibly get from waiting for some poor passenger walking up to the door of the bus and then taking off just before they can get on?

I mean, really…

I can understand if the passenger was taking their time, sauntering up the street like they owned the town. That type of arrogance should be rewarded with a face full of exhaust.

But when the poor soul has been running for a good few blocks just to catch the bus. It’s not really fair.

Not all bus drivers are like this, mind you. Most are awesome.

I’m only ranting about this because I’ve seen it happen twice this past week.

Streets Suck

Sometimes I wonder what city planners are smoking when they design streets.

I mean, I know that grids are overdone, but they make it easier to get around.

If you don’t know what I mean, go to New York. Pick two places, then ask for directions from anyone on the street…

YOU: Hi there. I’m trying to get from the United Nations property to the Empire State Building. How do I do this?
ANYONE IN NEW YORK: Go to hell.

Honestly, they wouldn’t say that (often). The directions they’d give you would be relatively straightforward, as the streets are laid out and named in such a way as to facilitate finding your way around effectively.

However, go to Sao Paolo and ask for directions….

YOU: Hi there, I’m trying to get from A to B. Can you give me directions?

ANYONE IN SAO PAULO: [Explodes, leaving behind a tuft of singed hair.]

Why am I writing about streets? Well, I was inspired by a conversation I overheard yesterday…

OLD LADY: Excuse me, miss [Approaching some other lady.]. Does Dundas St go North from here?
SOME OTHER LADY: Dundas St West goes Dundas St West.
OLD LADY: Um…

We have a street in Toronto named Dundas St W. In some places it goes North/South. In most it goes East/West. It crosses Bloor St W at least twice, making directions a bit more challenging to give. Seriously, tell someone you’re looking for Dundas & Bloor and see what they say.

As awkward as that sounds, though, it’s not as bad as King St in Kitchener/Waterloo. At any given point it could be King St N, King St S, King St E, or King St W. I think it even crosses Weber St three times…

YOU: [Getting in Cab.] Hi there. I’d like to go to King/Weber.
CABBIE: [Applies gentle bathing to you with flamethrower.]

Ah, gotta love city streets.

Experiment a Success?

I wrote an article yesterday engineered to capture many hits from search engines. The thing about that article is that it will demonstrate its effectiveness in the weeks to come.

Any new article is attached to the front page of one’s blog after it has been written, attaining hits by virtue of being front-and-center. Eventually, though, it is moved down the list, and off the front by newer articles. Occasionally you will see footprints from web-searching-spiders.

Now that the spiders will run amok inside my article and it will move up the hit charts, causing the counter to rise steadily rather than taper off.

That’s the hope, anyway.

I’ve never really been all that scientific…

Engineered For Hitz. W00T!

How Many Hits…

And so, it has come to pass.

The time has arrived to attempt to hold a Darth Vader-like sway over the internet. The goal of this particular piece of writing is to capture as many hits from as many search engines as possible without using obvious references to sex, porn, or swearing (other than writing them there, of course).

I could easily just make a top ten-type list of words that would hopefully be hit by the spiders of the web, but this would be a cop-out. To truly be the bomb, this article has to be done with some manner of style. Thus, I intend to write about myself, while living up to my own little challenge.

I’m not really sure why I want to write this article. It’s not like I am some stats-hungry moron with some kind of agenda. Nor do I have hopes of gaining notoriety or celebrity with it. Indeed, the last thing I’d want to be is one of those celebrities like Tom Cruise or Katie Holmes, who seem to do things for the sake of attracting attention.

Indeed, if I write without any meaning, how can I hope to attract intelligent comments?

Normally I tend to write about things other than terrorism or the moronic activities of George Bush (which seem to me to be quite similar at times). I write about things locally that bother me (like jerks in the subway, or how insensitive people can be). I also write about the good things that I see around me, as well as some of my adventures in nature (that is, camping). I also write haiku poetry.

Originally, my intention was to use MSN Spaces to draw people to my photography. As am amateur it is great to get as much exposure as possible. The naked truth, though, is that selling art helps to keep the art going. I suppose the ultimate goal would be to have my art as my sole source of income. Money is not the most important thing in the world, but it’s tough to buy food with nothing.

Back to the blogging.

As I stated before, my original intention was to bring attention to my photo work. But things changed a bit.

I started to enjoy writing. The process of tapping out words on my keyboard became a therapeutic release. Writing is something I liked to do when I was younger. School almost drove that love out of me. Now that there is no other judge other than public opinion (which is, in all honesty, much more forgiving than a crotchety old prof), it has become enjoyable again. Orgasmic, even.

I don’t have crazy events on my blog for the most part. No requests for cancer research donations, or any other charity (I tend to do that on my own, privately). Instead, it’s just a place to hang out. People are even free to kidnap a poem from my collection to use on their sites.

It’s all good.

What does the future hold for Barking Space? I’ll most likely continue to do this for a long time. It doesn’t take a Superman to keep something like this up (insert Viagra joke here). It’s surprisingly easy to maintain.

It’s a great way to express yourself and a great way to share news.

So let’s see how I did…

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